Although this blog is primarily about my fanfiction, I'm going to use this entry as the first of several that will talk about the writing process. I don't mean things like characterization or plot-building here, but rather the mechanics and flow of prose. Over the years I've learned and improved quite a bit in that area, so I thought I'd share some of what I feel I've gotten better at. I'd be curious as to what experiences my readers have in this vein as well, so feel free to comment with your thoughts!
First off, before I continue: I am not pointing fingers at any author in particular. What I talk about in these kinds of entries are things I've been guilty of myself, mistakes I've learned from, and that I'm in the habit of trying to break. If something I say here hits home or makes you feel like, "Is she talking about me?" please don't take it that way. Nobody's perfect, after all!
Today's topic: Epithets. They can be a useful tool in writing, but as many of us who read a lot of fanfiction know, they also make for clunky, awkward, and purple prose when overused. While sometimes they do help with description, when I'm in the middle of reading a scene between Darkwing and Launchpad, more likely than not I'm going to cringe when I read, "The purple-clad mallard said to the taller duck, 'Let's get dangerous, LP!'"
Unless there are specific plot points in the sentences around something like that focusing on why we need to be reminded that Darkwing is wearing purple and is a mallard, or that Launchpad is taller than him, this is unnecessary description that bogs down your prose. The reader already knows these things about the characters. Most of the time in a case like this, using pronouns or the characters' names would be better.
I think a lot of writers overuse epithets because someone emphasized to them that they shouldn't be repetitive or that just using pronouns and/or names is boring. Well, I'll throw out this opinion. I'd rather see a ton of pronouns than a bunch of epithets used in the name of creativity. If you want to call Bushroot "the plant-duck" while he's in the middle of growing a vine to smack Darkwing upside the head, okay, fine. That's one of those times where the epithet matches the action and the scene. But if you want to call Liquidator "the water dog" while he's just chit-chatting to his dancing girls and not even using his powers or dripping on their feet, odds are, it's not necessary to remind the reader or them that he's a dog turned into an animated pool of water. They know it and he knows it. Just use his name or "he," please.
Another peeve. This one is personal taste, and I'll admit, it's not one I've been guilty of with Quackerjack myself. I'm going to mention it anyway, though. "The jester." I have an irrationally intense dislike of this epithet for him. Unless it's in a fic about when Quackerjack went back in time to serve in King Herbeth's (Was that his name? I forget. :P) court, please don't call Quackerjack a jester. Not only is it a distracting epithet, but it's inaccurate. Say his clothes are jester-styled or jester-like. Say he did something in jest. If you must use an epithet, call him "the toymaker," "the former toymaker," "the Whiffle Boy-hating villain," or even "the duck in the jester outfit" but please, please, don't call him the jester. I know, I know. It's in Darkwing Duck fanfiction everywhere, including fic by some very popular and otherwise awesome authors. Everyone does it. It's not enough to make me stop reading or dislike an otherwise good fic, but it will make me gnash my teeth.
While we're at it, Darkwing Duck fic could also do with fewer "electric rat" Megavolts (which inevitably bring to mind the association of the "Electric Slide") and "botanist" Bushroots as well. Granted, both are technically correct, but as I said above, there's a time and a place for those epithets. Unless Megavolt's shocking someone who doesn't know his name or Bushroot is in the midst of giving a lecture on plant biology, it's probably not necessary to refer to them that way most of the time.
So with all of that said, I'm not saying to never use epithets. My own writing has them in it. You should see (or rather, you probably shouldn't, hah!) the amount of epithets that make it into my first drafts. They seem like they flow well or are necessary for the description at the time I type them out. In the editing process, though, I stop and think at every one I've written, "Is it really necessary, or would a pronoun or the character's name flow just as well?" More often than not, it does, and the epithet gets the delete and replace.
A very good post about epithets, Cheezey. I like your advice on the matter because I recently received advice from a friend that I don't use enough epithets. I was thinking there might be another good reason to use epithets in place of a pronoun or the character's name.
ReplyDeleteLike if for whatever reason you have Darkwing at the end of a sentence and then you begin the sentence with Darkwing...
So you have something like...
He looked at Darkwing. Darkwing was... blah blah blah.
I'm running out of time... *lol* But I was thinking it might be a good idea to use an epithet, then, because it looks kind of odd seeing Darkwing twice in a row.
What do you think about that? I'm curious on your input.
Thanks for responding, Celey! I think in the situation you used above, that's one of the times that an epithet would be necessary. Having "Darkwing" twice in a row would be repetitive, and using "he" would be confusing, since the "he" has already been established to be whoever Darkwing was interacting with.
ReplyDeleteIn that case, I'd suggest an epithet that fits the situation and also enhances the description and tone of the scene. For instance, if "he" is Launchpad, an epithet that suits the way Launchpad would typically think of Darkwing would make sense, like "the hero" or "the masked mallard" or something like that. If "he" is a villain like Megavolt, something like "his foe" or "the crime-fighter" might work better.
This is really good advice, and I'm definitely guilty of all the things you've mentioned (including referring to QJ as a 'the jester' now again). This mainly takes place in my RPs, since I don't write fiction as much as I do third-person RPing.
ReplyDeleteYou essentially pegged why I do it too: It was nailed into my brain at a young age that I need to avoid being repetitive with personal pronouns. A lot of my elementary school teachers were sticklers about that, and I try to avoid it all all costs now.
You're right about QJ being referred to as a jester. It isn't technically correct. I usually fall back on it because "clown" isn't accurate, and he is Jester-LIKE. But his main occupation is definitely toymaker. I'm going to be more consistent with that in the future (not that I ever really write fics, but I was just recently RPing Nega-QJ on myspace).
I've definitely referred to Megs as the "electric rat" too. Usually that's just out of laziness on my part when I can't think of a better description, lol. Someone needs to come up with a good list of epithets for DW characters.
Thanks for taking the time to respond, Vaporshi! I think a lot of people are in your boat with having had teachers drum it into their heads. It's a common thread I see in posts about epithets in fanficrants on LJ, too... many people are like "My creative writing teacher told me this, and now I find out they were wrong?!"
ReplyDeleteI'm not as anti-epithet as some people there are, but I think of them like a spice. They're good when they fit the situation or can enhance your description, but too many of them overdo it and make your prose seem awkward and heavy.
I notice when I'm writing that I feel like I'm being repetitive with names or pronouns, so I tend to use more epithets, but when I get into editing I realize that really isn't the case. A lot of times, pronouns are invisible and simple. The main time pronouns become a problem is if that's all that the writer is using and it becomes confusing as to who is who, or the dialogue and other description in the scene is generic and bland so it feels necessary to clarify who is speaking. But if the character's voice is distinct in the dialogue (such as in the example I used in my post of, "Let's get dangerous, LP!") it's pretty obvious who is talking, and the reader would get the image of Darkwing in their mind. In that case, using the "purple-clad mallard" epithet is redundant, and rather purple-prosey. (Pardon the pun. Heh heh!)
As for the electric rat thing, yes, I too am guilty of that one. I know I've edited it out of some of my older DW stuff. The main time I remember deliberately using it was in my "Mutants on the Prowl" fic where Camille referred to Megavolt as the "electric rat" in the dialogue, and it was a set-up to make the joke about the Electric Slide.
Being the Negaduck fan that you are, are there any epithets for Negs that drive you batty? In general, people tend to refer to DW and Negs both as "the mallard" a bit too often, but at least that's not an inaccurate one. Oh! Seeing Launchpad called "the pelican" drives me up a wall, too. I know some people argue that's what he's supposed to be, but since I see him as a duck, it instantly jars me out of the story.
Huh, y'know, I never thought about that. I'm in the same boat as everyone else though as far as my english profs and such have always encouraged using them. I'm gonna have to look over my stories. I know I'm definitely guilty of using epiphets (My go-to for LP is 'the pilot', I know that much, Lol). I'm curious to how many times they show up now, though XD Great entry. Definitely gonna try to avoid doing that from now on.
ReplyDeleteI was going to say that I know I used "the pilot" more than once in the stuff I'm writing now, and I'm too lazy to bother to change it. I do try to keep epithets to a minimum, but I also don't think about it that hard, you know? My main effort goes into trying to keep from OVERdoing it, like the really needless ones you pointed out. I do use names most of the time, or else "he"/"she", but when it's a conversation between two male characters I feel a need to specify without always naming them. *G*
ReplyDeleteI totally fail on "the jester" though - you are so right, and I didn't even think about that. :)P "The toymaker" it is! I think I can be excused in chapter one of TWC3, because it's from the perspective of others, so perhaps it can be decided they were just wrong. ;) But I'll make sure the narrative doesn't use that term again... good post!
Oh yeah - and I don't think I have ever, EVER used "the mallard" (and DEFINITEly not "the pelican" for LP) so at least I'm free and clear on that. *lol*
I would like to add the addendum that if you *do* use epithets that you make sure they don't add to the confusion. If Negaduck and Darkwing are fighting, for example, don't say "Suddenly an anvil landed on the duck." Both of the characters match that description and it bugs me to see that in fic.
ReplyDeleteI do use epithets, though I try to minimize them, which I figure is the point. Mostly it's times when I think "he/she" would be confusing and the name either is used too much or be annoying. I find writing Snarf to be a pest for that. "Hi Lion-O, snarf, snarf," Snarf said. Ugh.